First time anal sex or ass fucking

This is a very comprehensive guide on how to have anal sex, or ass fucking as some call it. As you read this you will understand the difference between delicious and satisfying anal sex, and anal sex which is painful and messy.

Rest assured: Good anal sex can be heavenly!

Read on quick!

The pros and cons of anal sex

Before you finally decide to go for it and talk to your partner about it, there are a few things to consider. Because while anal sex can be really great, there are also disadvantages. Consider these carefully before proceeding:

The benefits of anal sex

  • It's a different kind of orgasm

Many women have a much more intense orgasm from anal sex. I can't explain why that is, but I do know that there are thousands of nerve endings in your anus. Only the clitoris and vagina have more. So if you're having trouble orgasming during vaginal sex, anal sex might be much more arousing and help you to orgasm.

  • Anal sex is 'kinky'.

Another advantage is that anal sex is still a big taboo. Something you shouldn't be doing, something that is 'dirty'. (Trust me, it's not gross) Breaking this taboo can be very exciting in itself.

  • It could be a 'plan B'

Sometimes vaginal sex is not possible for a while. Not only during the period that you have your period, but also, for example, because your vagina is still completely bruised from the previous sex. In all those cases, anal sex can give another dimension.

  • There is no risk of pregnancy

Ok, that's kicking in an open door. But it still remains a great advantage: The pleasure of penetration (for both of you) without the risks.

The Disadvantages of Anal Sex

  • Anal sex sometimes needs planning

It is and remains a big taboo: Penetration in the anus which is often associated with dirty. What if there's still poop in the last part of your intestines?

You can easily prevent this by thinking about what you eat in advance. If you know that kidney beans make you gasp and don't have firm stools, then you should avoid that. But normally the last part of your intestines is always empty and clean, but not when you really have an urge to go to the toilet.

  • For some men, it's an obsession

Some men, especially young men, have an obsession with anal sex. For them, it's an item on their bucket list, a box to tick and brag about to their friends. If you're not interested in anal sex, and your boyfriend is obsessed and doesn't respect your choice, it can be a major turnoff for both of you.

Look deep into your heart : do you actually WANT it?

Many women are not interested in anal sex at all. And yet they do it to keep their partner happy. Your partner should, ideally, respect your choice. There are so many other exciting things to do!

Although I recommend that you try all the new things at least once to see if you like and like it, must. You can NEVER feel compelled to do something you don't want to do in your heart. And that includes anal sex.

So, if you don't want to try anal sex, or if you've tried it once and didn't like it, don't do it! Not even if you just want to do it for your partner. If your sex life consists of things you don't want to do, it will have a direct impact on your relationship.

As I wrote before, there are so many more things you can do together that you can both enjoy.


Communication, communication, communication!

If you both want to learn how to have anal sex in a pleasant way, then communication is the basis of it all. And to be fair, this will be mostly one-way traffic.

You, as the receiver, are going to tell your partner what he should or should not do, and in what way.

You should feel comfortable telling him to go faster, harder, deeper, shallower, pull back very slowly, or stop moving altogether.

In turn, your partner should have the respect to listen to you and actually follow the instructions.

It's natural for a man to feel dominant during anal sex, but in reality he has to accept that you, as the recipient, are in control. Not to dominate, but simply to make anal sex enjoyable and exciting. You want to feel the pleasures, not the pain!

Very important: Which lubricant to use?

It is very often underestimated, but the use of lubricant really makes the difference between pleasant anal sex and painful sex. But not all lubricants are suitable for anal sex.

Water-based lubricant

As you can probably guess this is a lube on. Water base. This makes it very safe for anal sex, but it's definitely not perfect: The problem with water-based lube is that it dries up pretty quickly and then needs to be reapplied. Stopping to reapply lube can really ruin the atmosphere.

Silicone based lubricant

For anal sex, this is the best choice: The silicone does not affect the latex of a condom, and it lasts much longer than water-based lubricant. Silicone-based lubricant is silky smooth and feels very natural. The only downside is that it can be difficult to wash spilled lube out of your bedding.

Almost all types of lubricant especially for anal sex are made on a silicone basis.

Oil-based lubricant

This is a super soft lubricant that lasts a long time. So basically ideal for anal sex. But there are a few annoying drawbacks: It's very difficult to wash the spills out of your bedding, and oil doesn't go well with a latex condom. Your condom will be affected by the oil and will tear. And that's the last thing you want!

So it should come as no surprise that I strongly recommend using a silicone based lubricant. I always use this:

And now the practice: The first time anal sex

After all the information, this is the single most important part of this guide to first time anal.

Many women experience pain during anal sex, and the reason for this is your anus. Your anus consists of a sphincter muscle that is normally closed, except when you go to the toilet to defecate. This muscle does not react like your arm muscles, for example, which you can tighten or relax in a fraction of a second.

Your sphincter muscle needs time to relax to receive a finger or a penis.

If you penetrate too quickly, so if the sphincter is not yet relaxed, it will hurt. A lot of pain.

Bottom Line: The secret to pleasurable and pain-free anal sex is to relax your sphincter as much as possible and open it enough for your partner to penetrate with relative ease.

This is how you do the first time anal fucking

It is wise to try this yourself first, in peace and without the pressure of a partner.

Apply some lubricant to your index finger and your anus. Massage your anus so that the sphincter begins to get used to being touched and relaxes. So slowly put your finger in. This will be relatively easy due to the lubricant. As soon as you start to feel uncomfortable or if it hurts, stop immediately and wait a minute before continuing. Once your finger can't go any further, start slowly moving your finger in and out.

If this feels right, you can try it with two fingers and maybe even three fingers. Everything is fine as long as you enjoy it.

An alternative is to use a butt plug. These are available in different lengths and thicknesses and are perfect for this exercise. In addition, butt plugs are great sex toys for when you are alone or even with your partner.

I myself have this butt plug in my bedside table:

Anal sex with a partner is basically the same. The 'finger exercise' is now performed by your partner with you in control. Your partner must therefore be really willing to follow your instructions. If not, stop immediately!

Once your anus is relaxed enough and the two- or three-finger finger exercise is still enjoyable, you can do the same with the penis.

Anal sex for the first time: Which sex position?

For the first time anal, "Cowgirl" is the best sex position. By sitting on top of him, you are in control. The partner is passive and should therefore not start thrusting.

After you've applied plenty of lube (penis AND anus), grab his penis and slowly guide it into your anus. Take the time for this. As soon as it starts to feel uncomfortable, you can stop for a moment or even withdraw completely. You can try again a minute later.

When the penis cannot go any deeper, you can very gently move your body up and down. Take it easy, at your own pace.

Once you feel comfortable, your partner can become more active by thrusting slowly. But beware: YOU remain in control!

And that's all!

The above is the best way to learn how to have pleasurable and pain-free anal sex. But there is more to discover!

In another article, I'm going to teach you some advanced anal sex techniques and sex positions that will blow your mind, leading to very explosive orgasms.

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