Sex for the first time: all your questions answered!

At some point you are ready to have sex with someone for the first time. But when sex in a relationship is on the agenda, you will also get a lot of questions. How do you start having sex? How does sex feel? How long does sex last on average? How long do you bleed after the first time having sex? Does it hurt? Below we give clear answers!


When are you ready?

Suppose... you've been a couple for a while and suddenly you get all kinds of feelings - down there. How do you know you're ready? You can feel that.


Do you sometimes have erotic thoughts about your sweetheart? Do you already feel like touching your friend in certain places while kissing? That's a good start!


In addition, it is also important that you feel safe, that you trust him/her and that you can talk honestly with each other. You should never feel compelled or to sleep with someone for fear of losing them.


When did you lose your virginity?

For a boy you can say that he has lost his virginity when he puts his penis in a vagina or anus for the first time. A girl doesn't lose her virginity until her hymen breaks, right? Not quite…

It is possible that her hymen has already been torn by, for example, sports, sudden movements, falling, masturbation... Also, the hymen is not a membrane at all, but a smooth edge of tissue that does not have to bleed at all if the first penetration is done calmly. So it's a myth that a girl MUST bleed the first time.

Is it normal to bleed after sex? Yes, don't panic if it does happen. How long do you continue to bleed after having sex for the first time? That should be quite short, but can last up to 24 hours after “the deed” (slightly). Does it last 2-3 days or is the bleeding very heavy? Then it's time to visit the doctor.


Does the first time hurt?

Why does first time sex hurt? Because you're tense and/or you haven't paid enough attention to foreplay. You are probably nervous about going to bed for the first time and that is why your body is a bit tense, you are not very moist and it can hurt.

Make sure you're excited enough and you've taken the time to kiss and touch. Licking the girl first before entering her is not a bad idea!

First time sex: with these tips it will go smoothly!


  1. Get to know your own body first

This is how you find out what you like and what touches turn you on. Touching yourself in different places and masturbating is a good way to get to know your body. As a girl, you can possibly insert a finger.

  1. Do not immediately go “all the way”

It's still so nice to discover each other's body with touches, licks, kisses... This is what we call foreplay and is important to get excited (read: an erection for him and a wet pussy for her).

  1. Don't put too much emphasis on the orgasm

Yes, cumming is fun, and you may have already experienced it during "sex with yourself", but that does not mean that your first lovemaking should immediately end in a highlight (for both). Making love without coming is also very nice!


  1. Provide a quiet environment

Preferably choose a quiet environment where you can go about your business undisturbed. How long does sex last and how much time should you allocate for it? That can vary from 5 minutes to an hour or more. But if you count extensive foreplay, you still have to count at least half an hour without parents or siblings knocking on the door.

  1. Do it safely

Why is safe sex important? Because you can also get pregnant during the first time! And you should also watch out for STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) - after all, it may not be your first time. Make it a good habit to use a condom. Buy them anonymously online at NewSide Eroticshop Amsterdam .

Do you have to have sex every time you see each other after the first time? No! How often on average sex per week is normal really depends. Can you often be alone undisturbed? And how often do you feel like it?

Again, talk about it and don't do anything against your will or under pressure. Just because the first time is over doesn't mean you have to have sex all the time now.

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